nicole latchana

Happiness = Reality – Expectation

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After reading countless articles about Generation Y and realizing how right the theories of us being egotistical and unrealistic about the positivity of our future are, I thought I’d write a self-analysis and post it on my blog for people to read partly in order to convince myself I’m an exception to the Generation Y, it doesn’t get more ironic than that.

There are many things that I do that confirm that I adhere to the habits of GenY.  I post photos that I’ve edited on Facebook, maintain a blog and have had an expectation of winning an Oscar for screenwriting, although this horrified me, it was consolidating to place the blame on external forces.

We have been raised with the notion that we are special and awesome by the elder generation, yet this coupled with the media’s message that we are all inadequate presents an interesting juxtaposition.

The invention of instagram, twitter and facebook allows yourself to make yourself feel like a celebrity, and must admit I have fallen into the trap of serial hash-tagging and feeling satisfied with the hollow likes.   And at times, I really do have to question how much of what I do online is to please and enthrall others for the benefit of my own ego.

The most primitive reflection of this ego boom would have been the introduction of mirrors into households.  I’ve come to the conclusion that 90% of the activity on Social media sites last year (Twitter and Instagram mainly) was for the benefit of “attention” from people that I would never meet in my life, I was sucked in to this self-promotion because it seemed to momentarily make me feel like I was as appreciated as I deserved, I think a part of this was boredom, filling my time partaking in the rat race of twitter seemed productive.

Now I fill my time with filling my head with random information, such as how to build an outhouse from scratch, what the stars of School of Rock look like now and why so many vehicles cease to work in the Bermuda triangle.  This I could not do during my Social media boom stage because fallen into this trap very much causes your concentration span to regress, finally I broke the cycle by discovering Tumblr.  It still can be detrimental to concentration as it doesn’t take much to get enjoyment out of looking at all the images but it drew me in so much that I forgot about myself, and started being inspired in the way I always was, by images.  Going though life looking at yourself is utterly pointless, it’s boring and makes you self-conscious about what you say.

Smash the mirrors, stop reading body language, go around in your worst clothes.

So many people strive to be mini-celebrities these days, they believe this will give them the self-confidence that the media has taken from us, all those skinny top shop models and the taglines (“Feel like a women” Revlon, am I not a women already?), they’ve blown craters in our sense of self making us feel incomplete, and we think they can be filled by the strangers like’s on your selfie. You are complete, and if you’re insecure, don’t strive for fame, strive for friendships and deep connection.  The desire to be adored cannot be maimed by becoming a celebrity; we are neurologically limited to making deep connections to only 150 people, is it time to clear out your facebook list now?

On a more positive note, ambition is not all bad, it’s made me realize my passions and these passions give me great joy and release, there is nothing better for me than seeing some great art and being inspired so much that the moment sways me into bleeding onto paper.  But don’t let it take over your life.

I have taken up salsa, it’s not something I would have done normally, but I did purely because of that reason, to have a life not completely dominated by the future, future yearning and future sucess planning.

Blogging for some is another way to self-promote, to try to fill the crevasse, making yourself look “Cool on the internet”, and creating a perfect painting of your rugged real self.  Personalities, perfected.

But for many, blogging is also about sharing passions, it gives us an amazing ability to connect with people all around the world who share the same obscure interests. Blogging for me is about connecting to the outside world and discussing issues, which sometimes seem too deep and serious for a lunch time stroll or unsuitable for a bassy hall full of salseros.  It’s also a way of exploring my development mentally, almost like a diary of my journey exploring and refining my world and social views unlike much of the teenage angst I used to post at a blog location which will remain anonmous.  It’s also a way of developing my writing skills and focusing my thoughts on productive and current topics of intellectual and artistic interest.  Have I conviced you?

I would say overall I am happy, my reality is balanced, however my life is very much driven by ambition, and expectation to succed, I know there is a big chance that I will never make it, but I’ve come to accept that but the ambition I have keeps me alive and active.  We as humans are naturally never completely happy with the now, we are creatures of Ambiton, it’s an evolutionary trait, aim for success, but don’t expect it to fall onto you lap and to be swamped by adoring followers.

Happiness = Reality + Ambition

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